THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
