First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
