i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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