we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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