whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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