She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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