I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I understand Curling. That high.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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