I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
