Joe is yelling at the trees again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize