Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The adults are the big ones right?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
