2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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