see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
