Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
