is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
