there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
