the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize