She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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