Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
