she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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