The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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