Its about making memories worth repressing
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
