the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
