i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
