So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
