you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
