We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
