There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
