i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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