You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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