My sheets look like a crime scene.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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