Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
