I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
