So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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