I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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