May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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