She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
