The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
