How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
