Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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