"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
