So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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