did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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