He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
