No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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