so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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