is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I enjoy the company of your penis
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