you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
