textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I could fuck to npr.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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