Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
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I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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