TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
