Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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