he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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