you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
