It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
