what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Oh god it's open bar.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
