there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
