Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
