Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
