even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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