I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
