We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
wow bdsm is so cute
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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