I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just pee around me
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Randomize
