some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
